That’s the answer to the question that I’ve been asking myself and the universe since I stopped wailing on the morning of March 4th. The question is, “What now?” I believe the answer is, “Just begin.”
But begin what? Begin writing, for one thing. Let the thoughts flow. Examine them. You can edit them later.
Begin your new life. This doesn’t mean abandoning your children. They are a part of you. Your new life includes them. But your old life is gone, and you can either sit here at the scene of the crash waiting for a ride that will never come, or you can get up and start walking.
No one can carry you. You have to move under your own power. They love you and they hurt for you, but they cannot deliver you from this place. Only you can do that.
But I’m hurt! My legs don’t work like they used to! I’m so tired, I just want to sit here and remember how good things used to be. But as long as I sit here, I’ll be faced with the wreckage, and I can’t close my eyes tightly enough to really remember without also facing the fact that I’m deceiving myself, hiding in my memories.
So move. Love. Begin.