Glad You Were There – Kelly


Hi.  It’s been a while.  I have far more interesting things to write about than this, but it is important and needs to be done.  

That was my segue.  You’re welcome.  

I know many (MANY) of you may have asked yourselves, your loved ones and maybe even Brad or I, one of the following questions and I’d like to answer them here and now.  If Mr. Tower feels so inclined, he may edit this with his comments as well.  

  • Why did you get married so soon?  Your decision is irrational given the circumstances.  You’re not thinking clearly about this.  You (Kelly) just got out of a (!@#$) relationship; you (Brad) just got divorced.  
    • Great points and thank you for asking as well as sharing your comments.  Truly.  For those who think I’m joking I’m not.  I have much respect for those who called, came over and asked us these questions.  It came from a good place and both of us understand that.  I would have done the same.  
      • ANSWER:  Many say making big decisions in the wake of trauma is never a good idea.  Articles, studies and instruction manuals have been written about this. Here’s the deal: Standing inside ground zero with Brad ended my life as I knew it and it did for you, too.  Moving along the highway of life in the vehicle of our day to day, March 4th pulled the emergency break hard and fast.  We all smashed into our seats and were jolted awake from the mundane and routine.  Chances are, you held your loved ones, you called people you cared about and you didn’t care about stupid bullshit anymore.  You remembered what was important. It was like, everything became clear.  Me. Too.  Everything became clear for Brad and I.  BEFORE date #1, we knew we were going to be together and neither one of us was in a rush to do anything about it (kind of freaked me out, quite frankly).  After all, we both ended previous chapters in life, we had bills to pay, work to cluck about and the grind of the daily to contend with, not silly things like love and relationships; you know…what really matters in life.  Trauma changed that.  Trauma changes the lens through which we view life and how we value remember know what is important in the end.  Celebrating life, loving each other to the fullest and embracing those wonderful people in our lives we enjoy so much. That is what matters.  It became very clear.  The clarity hasn’t faded.   Our decision to get married was one of the best team decisions I’ve ever made. 
        • PS – Love is not rational.  Emotions are not logical.  Logic is logical.   
  • But, are you sure? I mean, it’s just so soon and you don’t know each other and there are no guarantees this will work and…  
    • Stop.  You’re ridiculous.  The only guarantee in life is that we all die.  
  • Kelly, you got a good one.  
    • I know.  
  • Brad, I like her. 
    • He likes me, too.  
  • Kelly, the above two aren’t questions; why include them in your FAQ?
    • Because we hear them a lot. ♥  
  • I hear you’re trying to start a family.  That’s great! Are you pregnant? / I hear you’re trying to start a family.  Are you kidding me; what’s wrong with you two??
    • This will be addressed in another post soon.  
  • Okay, but WHY Spokane and why on earth on a Thursday?  
    • Seems weird, right?  The beautiful city of Spokane, on a Thursday.  To our friends on this side of the mountain range, that statement could seem laughable.  We had our reasons though.  
      • ANSWER:  The reasons were three-fold, important to us and in the end, resulted in great success.  Number 1:  After the remembrance at Evergreen Christian, Brad and I left for a long weekend to visit my dad and step-mom in Spokane.  My dad is non-invasive and his concern is deep and still rather than shallow and fast.  It was exactly what we needed.  We walked and ran and explored the area.  We talked about getting married.  We wanted a 99% guarantee we would not be rained on because we wanted to get married outside.  We wanted family there and friends to celebrate with and quickly realized a destination wedding out of state would not work.  We wandered around Manito Park, meandered into the Japanese Garden and knew Spokane was the place for us.  Number 2:  Both of us are public speakers by trade and are not shy in front of large crowds.  At the same time, neither one of us are/were particularly interested in the spotlight.  To that point, it was fortuitous for us that the park only permitted 30 people to attend the ceremony.  

Though, the wedding ceremony was not why we wanted people to make the journey out to Spokane…which is also why we had it on a Thursday morning…  

Number 3:  

We wanted our wedding and reception to be the kickstart to YOUR family/friend weekend adventure.  We wanted you to get out, celebrate your families, be with your friends, enjoy each other and make memories.  

You all did it.  

You made memories, you booked trips, wore sunscreen, played and  laughed

and loved.  

#3 is why I am writing this post today.


Everything building up to the wedding made me feel like a massive human volcano: anticipation ants in my pants, stomach willies, frayed nerves and launched lunches stacked on racing thoughts, maddening lists, a non-stop roller coaster of emotions, and (of course) no sleep. 

I felt like St. Helens: I was going to spew, I knew it.  

But instead, I just took a breath, and let the lava flow of love ooze out into the universe.  I finally looked up at smiled to the world…and there you all were.  

All of you.  

Near and far, beside us in spirit, standing close to us while we spoke sweet words, or dancing outside under the beautiful setting sun.  You were all there with us.  You came with your loved ones, your friends, and your travel plans.  

And they were, too.  

Ben, Sam & Maddy were with all of us on July 21st.  

They ran around the mansion and surveyed their land on the balcony with Jaime’s son, they were gladly concocting their delicious italian sodas at the soda bar  with Charles’ & Lesley’s crew, they were dancing (oh the dancing!) and singing and putting the adults to shame with Niquette & Johns kids and they were indulging in the family friendly food and desserts with each and every one of us.  

So, it is because of you, we decided to things the way we did.  

And this is why we thank you for being a part of it with us.  Thank you for breathing laughter and love and light into our lives.  Thank you for hanging out with us in the pouring rain, and eating backyard bbq grub and watching us dance like the weirdos we are and realizing that love is love…no matter which way you slice it.  


3 Comments on “Glad You Were There – Kelly

  1. Beautiful words.
    You are a beautiful couple and I wish you peace and happiness.
    Your wedding reception was stellar and I was honored to be present.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kelly and Brad, I couldn’t be happier for you. You are both amazing individuals and make an awesome couple. I wish you both the very best always.

    Liked by 1 person

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